TOO much to think about??

I figure we started "sort of trying" to get pregnant around Christmas of 2004, which means I've been operating in a "Mom state of mind" for almost three years now. Do you realize the bazillion decisions you have to make in the best interest of your child when you bring a child into the world?? It starts with what to eat during pregnancy, who to use for your pre-natal care, where to give birth, which childbirth method to use, what to register for, etc. I spent hours registering for the best cloth diapers, slings, organic clothes...and the list goes on.
Toward the end of pregnancy, you have to decide on issues like where the baby will sleep, nursing, circumcision, a night-time parenting philosophy...
Then the baby actually arrives. Within the first year, you're faced with a whole new world of questions, concerns and challenges! There's whether to let your child watch TV, sleeping issues, discipline, what the child can and can't eat, immunizations, in-laws and grandparents, germs, developmentally appropriate toys...ARRRGH!
I've laid awake many nights thinking through my own childhood experiences with corporal punishment, nightmares, public school, family vacations, church...and I've spent countless hours reading and researching issues like breastfeeding, spanking, infant sleep solutions, nutrition, SIDS...you name it.
I consider what the Bible says...what my parents did right and wrong...what I've seen in my many years of working with preschoolers...stories and advice I hear from other moms I respect, and those I don't...what I hear in the media and what I DON'T hear in the mainstream media and have to research myself. It's like a second job!
If you know me well, you know I don't really "do normal." My philosophy on most of the pregnancy/childbirth/baby-related issues is "If everyone else is doing it, I probably shouldn't." I definitely don't follow the status quo. Sometimes it's lonely, too.
Here's my point. Mothering is just one small aspect of life (albeit a HUGE aspect) and one that's a top priority at the moment. I feel like I stay on top of it pretty well and advocate for the things I believe in strongly. I wish I could do more, especially in educating women on the choices available to them and empowering them to stand up for themselves. But now I'm realizing that I've only seen the tip of the ice berg. I had a mom comment on a past post that directed me to her blogs and her web site and...WOW. There's more to this that even I realize. There's a lot of politics involved--human rights, women's rights, what role the government plays--and questions about how we (meaning those of us who advocate for the issues we believe strongly in) CAN spread the word and make a difference without turning moms off, overstepping boundaries or just being offensive.
I felt like I was on top of things, AT LEAST in the realm of new motherhood!! Even if I was clueless about pop culture, politics, current events, etc...at least I felt like I was OK with most of the "mom stuff."
No more. There's much to be done and I'm not doing enough. I feel like "With greater knowledge comes greater responsibility." I know stuff. I've experienced stuff! And I've done my homework. So I'm responsible for passing my knowledge on and for helping other women walk the journey. The other interesting thing is that I sometimes assume that women who are "into" the same things I am--whether it's extended nursing, home births, not immunizing, whatever--also believe the same things I do or have the same religious views that I have! It's ridiculous, of course, but I still find myself doing it.
This woman who posted listed "Sicko" and "Fahrenheit 9/11" as two of her favorite movies!! YIKES!! Probably not on the same page with a lot of stuff!! Not all hard-core nursing moms are liberals or feminists, folks!! But I know that's a perception that's prevalent out there.
So...now I'm more resolved than ever to find a couple of things I really believe in and are passionate about and find women who need to or want to be educated in those areas. Fertility awareness, home births, breastfeeding, grace-based discipline...I'm not sure which ones. BUT, I do know that I WILL present it from MY unique perspective as a CHRISTIAN, Bible-believing, Christ-loving woman, no apologies. And I will teach my classes in hip clothes and sparkly jewelry, not barefoot in a mu mu with hair to my waist. And I will have the guts to ask, "Do you have any idea what you're doing to your child?? Do you actually use your brain??" Well, OK, maybe in a nicer way, but still. In other words, I'd like to break through some of the stereotypes and maybe attract a "new breed" of women. There's a lot of people spouting off about their beliefs, most of them not nearly as important as raising kids.
My point is this. Only I can be me. And the world needs me. The issues I've mentioned here matter to me. And they need to be addressed. I need to get to work. I may not be able to stay on top of all the other issues out there...but that's OK. The issues I'm tackling are complicated enough!!! I don't need more to think about!! So stay tuned.

Saturday Coffee Talk

YES, I actually got to enjoy a leisurely breakfast and coffee with my mom this morning!! Woo-hoo!!
My mom spent the night at our house to watch Andrew Friday night and this morning for church-related activities I/we had to attend. So I got up early and made us breakfast. My DS did wake up once, but my DH got him back to sleep, God bless him. We had breakfast casserole; fresh peaches with yogurt and granola; and cinnamon rolls. And a yummy organic coffee I found for $2!!! I need to go back and buy more. We used my new fall mugs, too, and had a chance to actually chat uninterrupted. So luxurious!! It was a lovely morning and such a nice way to begin the weekend.
After that, I went to church for a planning meeting for our upcoming women's retreat, then had time to run a few errands I'd been putting off. The "too-hard-to-do-with-a-toddler-in-tow" kind of stuff, like going to the bank and getting a Sam's Club membership!
Then I came home and was able to visit with my mom more and have a nice lunch, then took a little nap with Andrew. This evening, we went to a neighbor's birthday party--gumbo, YUM!--then spent some time at the park to wear Andrew out.
Then...here's where it gets really good...I was able to close my bedroom door and indulge in a nice soak in the tub!! Did a full body scrub, a face mask and listened to Enya! I love these cool "petals" that I you toss into the water. They float briefly, making me feel like I'm some kind of forest nymph bathing in a stream...then they dissolve slowly and leave behind lovely, lightly-scented bubbles. After a relaxing soak, I got out and painted my fingernails and read a magazine to top it off. Now, THAT'S a good Saturday!

Fun at the park

Since typically every Thursday is my DH's late night out, we went to my folks' house tonight. My dad brought home a yummy Chinese dinner, which was the perfect alternative to dragging Andrew out to a restaurant and it was sooooo good. Sweet and sour chicken, fried rice and crab puffs. Mm-mmm.
Then my mom and I took him to the park where we're going to have his 2nd birthday party. It is such a cool place but A4's favorite activities are swinging and pushing the big, black trash cans around. Isn't that a hoot?? Here's a few pictures to prove how much fun we had. Next time I need an hour to read, I'll just take my book and put him in the swing!

Ready for Fall!!

I LOVE fall!! The cooler temperatures (which here in Arizona, means double-digits...but, it has been in the 60s at night!), changing leaves, football, pumpkins, back-to-school time...aaaaahhh. It just makes me want to buy some new folders with kittens on the front, bake a pumpkin pie and go find a pile of leaves to rake! I'm actually tempted to convert my entire house into a "fall motif." Kinda like a beach house theme, but with fall colors and leaves everywhere. My walls are already paprika, sage green and khaki, VERY fall-ish. I was out window shopping and saw all these cool things for fall, like at Pier 1, they have these huge gourds and pumpkins made out of, like, grapevine and with white twinkly lights inside. FABULOUS!! I would SO use those year-round!! I'd get a leafy shower curtain for the guest bathroom and have towels in shades of plum, pumpkin and sage...oh, it would be so much fun!
I mentioned this to my DH and he said, "But then it won't be as much fun to bring in all your fall decorations every year." Good point. Hmm.
I'm still thinking about it. Fall is just so comforting and so cozy. I need to make me up a batch of boiled peanuts. Maybe I'll do that and post the recipe. They're awesome. My DH isn't a fan and maybe it's an acquired taste, but...they say "fall" to me more than anything else. Back on the farm, we'd pick 'em, soak 'em and boil 'em ourselves, then reheat them for a snack or to munch on during a Florida football game. Memories.
I'm getting all my fall stuff out and displayed today. Here's a picture of my entryway, all items that our DS can't destroy. The other is my Southern Living At HOME "candelier," one of my all-time favorite things EVER. I threw it together but it was all stuff I had and looks pretty good, so, HEY! I've got the fall placemats, napkin rings and napkins ready to go--I just need to throw a dinner party now!
DS is napping, then we're off to my folks' house since it's my DH's late night out. Guess I should go get some stuff done before he wakes up.
What're YOU doing to get into the fall spirit???

Monday's "didja know??"

Here's my new idea for Mondays: A "Didja Know?" entry about something you may not know about me or my life.
"Didja know?" that I was all set to have a home birth with my son...but ended up being rushed to the hospital to give birth?
Here's the (very) short version of what happened. Throughout my pregnancy, I had never seen a doctor but instead had all of my prenatal appointment with my midwives. Everything progressed perfectly and we were completely ready for a home birth as my due date drew closer.
I was 41 weeks pregnant on November 26th, 2005. At 3:58am that morning, I woke up with my first "real" contraction. By 11:00am, contractions already made me stop to catch my breath and by 3:00pm, the midwives were there to help out. Things got really intense around 5:00pm and at 8:00pm, I was checked for the first time and found to be fully dilated, fully effaced and ready to push. Yes, that's 18 hours of unmedicated labor at home--mostly in the bathtub!
But, after my water broke and I started to try to push, the complications started and by 10:00pm, the midwives said, "Y'know, to be on the safe side, you need to be in a hospital." I put on a robe and slippers and we were out the door and the midwives called to say we were coming and to describe the situation. We arrived at the hospital by about 10:10 and my angel was waiting with a wheel chair at the E.R. entrance. I was whisked upstairs to the labor/delivery floor, where I was the only woman in labor that night. The on-call doctor had been summoned and arrived at about 10:15 saying, "You've got to push this baby out or you're going to have to have a C-section!!" So I pushed with all I had and then some, and our DS was born at 10:27pm on Saturday, November 26th, weighing 8 lbs. 4 oz. and 21" long. The whole thing was a lot like those dramatic birth scenes from the movies, that I would watch and go, "Y'right, like that really happens."
So there's me, having given birth in a hospital to a BOY! I really thought I was having a girl. We now know that I was just sensing his sweetness and that close bond we shared and assumed wrong. Oops. But what a crazy feeling, as I lay in the operating room right after he was born (that's a whole other story) and processing the last thirty minutes. "I just gave birth to a baby boy...I'm a MOM!!!...I'm in the hospital!!...I have a SON!!" Wow.
There's a lot more to the story, of course...so I'll just say that it was heart-breakingly disappointing to have ended up in the hospital and to have been denied so many of the things I wanted out of our birth experience. BUT, I did get the natural birth I wanted and he was born perfectly healthy. And going to the hospital really was the best decision in the end.
But, wow. It sure did add an interesting chapter to my life story!
I'll throw in some pictures just for fun: one of me happily laboring at home and one of our first pictures together.
And now you know! :)

Saturday Red Hat event

Today was our September event--a potluck lunch and Bunco!
It was really fun and relaxing--I even won a prize for most Buncos--11, my "lucky" number!! It was the THIRD time I played Bunco this week--isn't that crazy?? And fun every time!! Here's a picture of me in my full regalia and the Queen Mum with her lunch. Her "pot luck" seems to have been pretty good!!

Sunday Church Luau

Our church had a celebration luau this afternoon and it was a blast! It's so nice to get together as a church family--just for FUN! The weather was beautiful, the food was yummy and the event itself was so nice...we all had a great time! Here's a few pictures for your enjoyment! :)

Check out my play list!!

Do you hear the music??? Thanks, Andrea, for inspiring me to add this feature--I love it!! I just added the first twenty or so songs that popped into my head as ones that stirred up emotions inside of me or that I associate with certain memories or seasons of life. I love music!!! Hope you enjoy it, too!

Date Night

Yup. We got two hours away from our monkey man to have a quiet dinner alone. It even rained!! Lovely. Don't we look kind of delirious and dopey with pleasure?? :)

Arizona wildlife

When I do something goofy in the check-out line or keep changing my order at a restaurant, I always say, "I don't get out much," cuz I usually don't!! But this week, I have!! And yesterday during my daily rounds, I saw my first-ever coyote that ran across the road in front of us from one field to the next...then a road runner that ran across the road in front of my car (I could swear I heard a faint "beep-beep!")...and a jack rabbit on the side of the road! Whoa!! Very cool! Our neat desert animals never cease to make me giggle.
A road runner ran along the sidewalk right behind me at the jewelry showroom a few weeks ago, they're a riot!! And the coyote looked just like in books and movies...thin little thing with mottled brownish-blond fur, kind of slinking along. So fun!

Job and class updates

Well, my class at church had 17 women--WOW! A lot of "heavy hitters," as Drew called them, too!! Some new faces as well, including two gals who are new to the church and have young children. Yeah! It was a lot of instruction so I talked a lot, whereas the rest of our sessions will have THEM doing activities and assessments and interacting. So I feel like it's all downhill now...and it seems like a really nice group--a great mix of ages and phases. I feel truly humbled and honored to be "teaching" the class. It's very exciting!!
As for the job, after day 2, things are still going great! My friend and I are still working on adapting it to suit the two of them (ages 1 and almost 2, where the toys and stuff are more suited to her four-year-old) and now we'll have a CD player so I can do some fun "music and movement" time, too. Between outside play, snacks, diaper changes and free play...the time will fly by! And just being able to take cash to grocery shop and buy gas this week--and not dipping into Drew's hard-earned money--is such a huge blessing.
We came home today and both crashed for three hours--him even longer!! This new schedule will be an adjustment, but a good one! We'll be up early again tomorrow for another long (and fun) day! I will say that he is adapting to the change very well, all things considered, and seemed excited when we arrived today and settled right in like we do it all the time. He's a pretty go-with-the-flow kid, thank the Lord. The two little ones always sleep in the car on the way home, too! I guess I wear them out!
It's weird, just staying home and running things around here seemed like a true full time job all these months...21 of them, in fact! Now, I really have to give credit to working moms--no matter how many hours!--who have to juggle everything, especially more than one kid! I don't know how they do it! I'm still trying to find the balance. We are going to take our DS to my folks' house Friday night so we can have some time together...we had an activity, one or both of us, EVERY night this week. Yeesh. We need it! And Drew offered to let me stay overnight at my folks', too, since Mom and I have a red hat event Sat. at noon. It would be a nice break from our DS and it's always nice to spend time with my parents without the distraction of our monkey man, so...I may take him up on the offer.
I'm tired, despite our long nap...and hormonal, too, which may explain me crying yesterday when Andrew wouldn't nap! :) So I'm beat and off to bed. Grocery shopping will have to wait another day!!

I'm taking the job!!

Here's the update from my previous post re: a job offer to go with my friend to her place of work to hang out with her one-year-old for a few hours. We did a sort of "practice run" today and it went really well!! They've got a great outdoor play area where we'll probably go first, while it's nice outside. We're going to put up a sandbox for the kids, too, and Andrew'll love playing in the rocks and with all the trucks. Then I'm thinking we'll head inside for a snack...then do some music and movement...then free play...and that'll about fill the 2.5 hours we're there! Andrew and I were home by noon and had lunch and played a little, then he crashed for a nap from about 2:00-5:00. Phew!! But we don't do much in the mornings, anyway, and Andrew was pretty chilled and happy to just play and hang out. My friend said we can buy more stuff that's age-appropriate for the two of them. I think it'll be good for several reasons:
1. helping my friend out
2. getting Andrew use to Mom paying attention to someone other than HIM
3. ME getting use to dividing my attention!
4. us getting into more of a daily routine
Andrew did pretty well with her and is learning to be gentle and kind. They're not big on sharing but I kept them apart fairly well. Overall, it went really well and I think it's going to be a great change for all of us. Plus, it gave my friend and I a chance to talk, which we don't get to do very often!
So I guess I'm now sort of a "working girl" again!! It feels good!
So our evening was pretty quiet, then I got to leave for Bunco at 7:00 and had a nice evening out with the girls. Now the boys are in bed and I'm going to prepare for a class I start teaching tomorrow night at church. I'm excited--but nervous!! Maybe I'll take a picture of my "class" to post. It's going to be a great group!

Saturday Coffee Talk

Ha!! Not really even one moment of peace and quiet today...but a busy day in a GOOD way!!
8:00 up and at 'em! No sleeping in today! Well, actually, 8:00 IS sleeping in--but not enough!
9:15 at the jewelry showroom picking up a bracelet for my mom
10:15 arrived at my parents' house for my dad's birthday brunch celebration. We had a lovely breakfast casserole, bacon, potatoes, fruit, mimosas, coffee...yum!! Brunch is my favorite meal!! Dad got lots of bird-related gifts for their yard. They've got a lot of wildlife as it is but now they'll have even more--and hopefully lots more hummingbirds!
12:15 swimming, picture taking, watching the Florida Gators play on their HDTV...it was great!! Andrew took a nice, long nap, too.
4:00 headed home
5:00 arrived at a birthday party for my neighbor/friends' two kids, turning 1 and 4. Andrew had a blast swinging, sliding, playing in the sand, playing with a truck, and playing with his daddy!! I was a blast. My friend knows how to party!!
7:00 I arrived home to realize I was already late for my Mom's Night Out!! So I walked in and back out again and headed to Bunco. Some new moms to the church were there, which is always good, then a couple moms who don't usually attend events and then a few regulars. It was so much fun!!
9:30 arrived home to find Andrew in bed. Nice!!!
PHEW!! I did have a nice cup of coffee at my folks' (which is my #1 goal on Saturdays)...and it was a pleasant, peaceful day for the most part...a pretty perfect Saturday, despite being a little rushed. Andrew was happy and played well, no major incidents, everything was fun and upbeat, I got to hang out with a lot of my favorite people...so, yeah!! Good day!! Hope yours was, too!!
P.S. The pictures are of me and my dad; Andrew with a dolphin painted on his leg and a doggy balloon; and my DH and I having mimosas.

Hair cut before and after

Yes, I took the plunge and got my hair chopped off and highlighted. Haven't had highlights in 5 years and haven't had it this short since December of 2004! My DH loves it! If I part it differently, the blond shows more, which he likes. I think it's going to be a fun 'do! Whaddaya think??
Oh, new make-up, too. I'm not sure about that yet. Maybe I just need a darker lipstick...
UPDATE!! OK, the third picture (now at the top) is me a few days after the haircut, after styling it myself. Pretty good, huh?? And, yeah, darker lipstick helps! :)

Fall Kick-Off, Prayer Answered, etc.

Tonight was the Fall Kick-Off for our church's women's ministry. It's going to be busy from now to the end of the year and in the best possible way. First, my "Network" class starts up next Tuesday and runs for 6 weeks, followed by a class on the book of James. I love James!! The weekend of October 21 is our women's retreat to Prescott, then there's a pie-making class in early November and our annual Christmas party in December! Wow!!
Tonight we had about 25 ladies, which was perfect. The women's ministry team all brought assorted salads and breads--it was all amazingly yummy! We played a fun game of charades, talked about the upcoming events and had a wonderful time all around! I saw some new faces there, too, which is exciting! I bet next year's will have a hundred women, no joke.
We really talked up my spiritual gifts class and 17 women are signed up. Wow-za!! A lot of those are mature believers, too, so it's a little intimidating! They may not all really come, but still...even half would be eight and that's more than I expected!! The class is so good, though...I know it will bless all those who attend, and consequently, will bless the church as well! I'm excited...but nervous! But I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!! To God be the glory!
So...tonight was all about celebrating and YES, there's a lot to celebrate!! God is so good and so faithful. Even today, I received a possible HUGE answer to prayer. A dear friend and sister in Christ offered me a "job," helping her with her daughter at her family's place of business. 20 hours/week, good pay, and I can take Andrew with me! He'll probably really enjoy it, actually. Just the right amount of money to really take some of the pressure off of my DH and help us get on our feet financially. I said to her, "This is really an answer to prayer!" and she said, "This is really an answer to MY prayer!" Funny how that works, huh?? That happens to she and I a lot...which is why I think God is behind all of this. I'm going to try it out Monday--but I really, really want to make it work. It would be prefect!! I'll keep you posted. Oh, gosh, what a ridiculous pun! HA!
Just a side note...I love Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." I will never forget a Bible study leader illuminating this verse by saying that it doesn't mean He GRANTS us what our heart desires, like a genie granting wishes. But rather He implants desires within our hearts, so that He receives the glory when HE fulfills those desires. It's that whole idea of prayer that blows my mind--that if we're in tune with God, He tells us what to pray for because that is what He will do! It's sort of hard to wrap my brain around, y'know?
So now, even the smallest things remind me of that verse in Psalm, because very often, I'll start "desiring" something--and sometimes I'm not even sure why--and then BAM! It happens! And I go, "Wow, Lord. Thank you!" and am amazed at His attention to the minute details of my life and how much He loves me. And it's like, if He hadn't planted the desire there, I wouldn't have recognized it when He fulfilled it. It's hard to explain!! I hope you know what I mean.
ANYway, I LOVE fall...and I love decorating our home for fall. Our colors in the main living space are paprika, sage green and khaki, so fall colors fit in beautifully. I love leaves, candy corn, pumpkins, you name it. BUT, this year, I didn't have any money to add to my fall decor and I saw these really neat resin pumpkins, sort of "engraved" with cute messages like, "Bountiful Blessings" and whatnot, in a catalog. It's so hard to find non-Halloween fall decor!! And I kinda thought, "Sigh...I wish I could get one of those pumpkins, it really appeals to me, blah, blah, blah..." but I threw the catalog away, figuring why torture myself?? Then low and behold, a dear, dear woman on the women's leadership team almost let me leave without this present she'd brought tonight. I'd seen a few of the same gift bags floating around and thought it was cute but never imagined there was one for me!! In it? A pumpkin that says, "Rejoice Always." Indeed!! So my belief is that God placed that desire in my heart for a cute little pumpkin with an inspirational message carved into so that when my friend gave it to me, I wouldn't just think, "Oh, how cute," but would say, "Thank you, Lord!!" Now every time I see it, I'll give God another praise! He is SO ALL ABOUT THAT! He just loves interacting with us and reminding us, "Hey, I love you, Princess." To God be the glory! Did I say that already?? :)
So there's a picture from tonight and of the pumpkin.
What did you praise God for today??

9/11...where were you?

I was attending Southewestern Bible College in Phoenix at the time. I got up that morning and came out of my bedroom to find my three roommates (who all had early classes) standing around the TV. One of them said, "There's been an attack in New York. They think it's terrorists." And we all stood there, frozen, as more news started coming in and they kept replaying that scene of plane hitting the World Trade Center. It was so surreal. "Terrorist" was a term I wasn't familiar with at the time. It was just incomprehensible that someone would do that on purpose. To US--America!! Even in those first moments, you knew that life in the United States would never be the same again.
Classes were cancelled, we found out, and the student body assembled in the gym to pray. There was a lot of crying and sadness. I'm sure plenty of people were scared, too. It was just so horrifying, imagining what the people in the towers went through in those final moments. Just normal people, who'd gone to work that day expecting just another ordinary day, or who kissed their loved one good-bye, saying, "See you tonight." The devastation, the chaos...it was awful. All of it was so awful. And to think that it wasn't an accident, that someone had meant to do it...well, I think we all grew up a little that day.
My friend Dan and I got a cup of coffee afterward and marveled at what was happening and how it changed everything. We were definitely still in shock. It was a very strange day. I remember checking in with my loved ones, just to hear their voices and tell them I loved them. My mom was the first to say, "Do you realize that today is 9-1-1? Isn't that spooky?" And as we learned more about the chain of events that morning--the other planes, the body count--it just got more and more...weird. Like a movie. It was hard to wrap your brain around it all. Yet, too, you were mad as hell at whoever had done it. You wanted them to answer for what they did to us.
It's still hard for me to believe that it happened, right here in my own country. It rocked our world, didn't it? Those that died, the heroes, the families who lost loved ones...we will never forget. May we never forget.

Happy Grandparents' Day!!

I know it's one of those "Hallmark Holidays" but we celebrate every chance we get!! My parents (pictured today with Andrew) joined us at church then came over for lunch. We had a lovely day together. Andrew just loves them both...and gives his Nana lots of unsolicited hugs and kisses. She enjoys him as much as I do--which really warms my heart. Happy Grandparents' Day to my two grandparents in Florida, too (also pictured, when they were here visiting in July)! I am so blessed that I still have my grandparents to enjoy and that my son has all four of his!! We are so very rich.

Saturday Coffee Talk

Well, we all slept in until 10:15 this morning (aaaahhhh), then my DH continued to sleep until almost noon, at which time I started preparing for the remainder of the day--including two birthday parties--which took all my time up until we actually had to leave. There were some frustrating moments of, "Could you please step AWAY from the computer for TEN SECONDS so I can get ready without YOUR SON clawing at my legs for me to pick him up???" and more frustration when, at the last moment, DH announced he was coming along. And, as I predicted, he took longer than I thought he needed to in finding his phone and wallet, changing his shirt, getting his shoes on, turning the a/c down and getting out to the car, as I'm watching the clock and thinking about our tight time schedule for the day. And, of course, we have to stop for gas, too. So I'm sitting there, hot and fuming, and all quiet and tense when he finally gets in.
BUT, once we're down the driveway and DH senses that yours truly is in a foul mood, he reminds me, "Hey, I'm coming, aren't I? I don't want to spend the whole afternoon with you if you're going to be grumpy. Let's just enjoy our time together." Oooo, thanks for that. Really. I was stressed out and hot and wishing that DH WOULD come along...but would want to, not be coerced into it...so, yeah, get a grip, lady. Two birthday parties, tons of fun, time as a family...I'll take it!!
So...not so much the relaxing morning in my favorite spot. A fairly chaotic day, actually. I did manage to have a yummy cup of coffee...must've been while Andrew was still playing happily and NOT clamoring for my attention. Probably before I started showing signs of getting ready to go somewhere.
Ultimately, we had a great time! The first party was at a friend's house who lives sort of in the country. It was all outside and DH got to launch some potatoes in a potato gun. Kewl. Andrew was pretty mellow and I mostly watched the festivities. Fine by me. Party number two was at Gymboree and Andrew had a blast. It was nice to visit with some church friends and watch the kiddos play. That's the pictures, by the way, us at Gymboree. They really DO have the best bubbles!!
so, yes, a good time, all around! And nice to spend time together as a family.
So here's my thoughts for today.
1. Isn't it amazing how we women have to do all this planning and preparation just for an afternoon out, whereas men can just decide they're going, put their shoes on and be out the door?? I started the day before, planning outfits (I treated myself to a new necklace), putting the present in a gift bag, getting directions and times sorted...then the day of, not only getting myself beautified and my son all ready to go, but dealing with breakfast, lunch, cleaning up, keeping my son happy...man!! It's like the wedding, right? We do all the work and they just "show up?" So it is, all throughout marriage! Men have it so easy!! OR...do we make it more complicated than it should be??
2. I was annoyed and irritated mostly because of MY expectations going awry, not because of anything my DH or DS did/didn't do. I'm the one who can't leave the house with a dirty dish in the sink and who has to always carry the perfect lip gloss in her purse at all times and who needs the tissue in the gift bag to be fluffed "just so." My hubby is just along for the ride. He's watching me zip around and doesn't have a clue what I'm upset about...and despite knowing I was stressed and volatile, he still wanted to spend time with me. Gulp.
3. It's awfully easy to miss the joy of ANY given moment when you're fussing with inconsequential details, eh? Yup. I am glad my DH brought me back to planet earth cuz being all huffy only made ME feel worse. It wasn't going to change anything or get us to the first party any sooner.
So...there ya go. My DH did comment on how quickly I shifted gears and got my attitude back in check. He was right, after all...no use stewing, just enjoy the moment!!
I hope you had some moments to enjoy today.

Blessingways

Whether you're expecting a baby or planning to throw a baby shower for someone special, I hope you'll consider this baby shower alternative: The Blessingway. The book my mother and I used can be found at Amazon.com, just search for "Blessingways: A Guide to Mother-Centered Baby Showers--Celebrating Pregnancy, Birth, and Motherhood" by Shari Maser. We first got the idea from an issue of Mothering magazine, which suggested a "shower" focused on blessing the mother-to-be and celebrating her transition into motherhood. It IS a big deal, becoming someone's mother...yet traditional baby showers, with their silly games and an hour spent opening a huge pile of presents sort of misses the point. Yes, the mother-to-be may come away with some useful "stuff" but little else.
For me, I was planning a home birth so besides empowering me for a drug-free birth without intervention, my mom and I also thought it was important to hold the Blessingway in my home so we could bless the place of birth as well.
It is recommended that the Blessingway be held as close to the due date as possible, just so the mother is more likely to carry the feelings of peace and empowerment with her to the birth. I was due November 20 but we chose a Saturday at the end of October because the first part of November was a scheduling nightmare. Since the date didn't hold any significance, we chose to begin at 11:11am because the number 11 DOES hold a special significance in our family. In fact, my dear friend (who "gets" the 11 thing) arrived at 11:11 on the dot!
Anyway, all I had to do was show up...my mom and sister-in-law took care of the rest. The book emphasizes making the Blessingway what the mother-to-be needs it to be, so each one will be very different.
My main objectives were these:
1. for me to experience a time of relaxation and pampering
2. to honor the mothers that had given birth before me, both in my family lineage and in the history of all mankind
3. to empower me to give birth naturally
4. to pray for a safe labor and delivery
5. to honor the transition from woman to mother
Those who were invited were carefully chosen based on who were already my most supportive friends and family and those I knew would be present in my child's life. I wanted the women there to understand why the Blessingway was important to me and to be in support of my decision to have a home birth. Having that like-mindedness meant a lot to me.
On the day on the event, I was presented with a floral head wreath to wear, as well as a blouse that my grandmother in Florida had embroidered for the occasion. My sister-in-law braided my hair for me and my mother gave me a pedicure and painted my fingernails and toenails while I relaxed in a rocker that had belonged to my mother's mother's mother. My dear friend even fed me grapes!
After the pampering, we all sat in a circle on the floor and each woman recited the names of her female relatives, as far back as she knew. Then each woman presented me with beads she had chosen for my birth bracelet, and told why she'd chosen the beads and what they represented. I did indeed wear the bracelet during my labor and birth--you can see it in the pictures! Those who couldn't attend had sent beads and a note, which my mom read. My grandmother had even written a poem!
The bracelet wasn't meant to be "magical" or anything...it was just a tangible reminder of the love and support of my family and friends. I had to take it off right before the birth (that's a whole other story) but as soon as I could, I asked to put it back on. It made me smile. I still have it and plan to keep it forever and possilby pass it on to my daughter someday for when she births her child.
One nice touch was that we purchased red candles and glass candle holders. I believe the red signified strength. We lit each one, along with candles on a cake and sang "Happy Birth-day" before blowing them out. The candles were then distributed to everyone, and shipped to my out-of-town friends and family, and they were asked to light them and pray for me when they got "the call" that I was in labor. One of my friends wasn't updated until well into the day after my son was born, and had let her candle burn all night! She said she prayed all night, too!
I'd have to ask my mom for the agenda of the day to recount ALL the details...but I do remember that when everyone laid their hands on my belly to pray for the baby and I, he kicked around like crazy! It was a very moving moment, as if he was acknowledging their love and prayers. How sweet!
Afterward, we had a little tea party and just sat around and relaxed. I truly did feel more confident and restful after the Blessingway. Despite the birth being nearly the complete antithesis of what I'd hoped for or wanted, I felt very much at peace throughout the entire ordeal. I felt God's protection and presence and never felt worried or panicked. There were a lot of people praying for me! And I could imagine all those red candles burning and it did somehow give me the strength to survive another contraction!
As a final note, there's nothing, like, New-Agey about a Blessingway...it truly is what you make it. We chose to make it simply a celebration of my transition into the role of Mother, to enjoy the company of my favorite women and to pray for me and the baby. Mothers know...after the baby is born, it's all about the baby! So for one last, brief moment, it was all about ME. No baby gifts, no games...just a personal and moving celebration to mark the beginning of a new season.
Feel free to contact me if you need help planning your own Blessingway--I'd be blessed to do it! And so would you!

Red Hat Society

Yes, I belong to the Jewels of the Desert chapter of the Red Hat Society. Did you know that women under 50 can be members?? We can! We're called "Pink Hatters" or "Ladies in Waiting." Full-fledged Red Hatters are 50 and above and wear purple clothes and a red hat. Pink Hatters wear lavender and a pink hat--sort of a "toned down version." At 50, I will have a RED-uation and will be cerimoniously given a red hat to wear. Thankfully, that's still twenty years away! I am among the few Pink Hatters out there, but I do consider myself a "Red Hatter in Training" and try to learn from our more mature members. Well, mature may not be the word...but I digress!
The point, you ask? FUN!! My mom and I actually founded this chapter ourselves, which makes her the Queen Mum and me the Princess. Since we're called the Jeweles of the Desert, I am also known as the Garnet Princess.
The whole point is that women over 50 have already saved the world and are ready for some fun!! They've raised their families, worked, etc. and deserve to just go out and have a blast together. So that's what we do. We all dress in our colors and do a monthly event--just for fun!! We may have brunch at a tea room, take a ride on the Dolly Steamboat, play Bunco, tour a local wine-making facility...whatever we want! And we do attract a lot of attention, as you can imagine from the group picture. Luckily, my mom and I are use to it. In fact, we wore our hats for the very first time when we visited Tombstone and people thought we were part of the show!! We even got our picture taken while we ate our picnic lunch. We were a sight!! Men especially tend to compliment us when we wear our garb, and particularly older men. I think they miss the days of women in long skirts and a proper hat! We do get cat-calls occasionally, too!!
ANYway, it's a hoot and just another group of women that I get to enjoy the company of. The picture is my mom and I, and our whole group at brunch in February. That's us down front with my son, who often tags along!
Find out more (or locate a group in your area) at http://www.redhatsociety.com/

Mothering Magazine/breastfeeding

You may as well know, my parenting style and philosophies aren't exactly "mainstream." I'm into fertility awareness, natural childbirth, home births, ecological breastfeeding, attachment parenting...the works. Andrew wasn't circumcised, is still nursing at 21 months old, shares our bed, will be home schooled...you get the picture.
So! If you're not of the same mind, feel free to avoid all posts labeled "parenting." If you're like-minded and haven't tapped into this resource, check out www.mothering.com. Use their search feature for all kinds of great information. They were one of the VERY few sources I found with ANY information regarding the safety of ultrasounds. That's why I love them--they tackle topics that other magazines won't touch. And they've been printing breasts with babies attached on the cover since the 1970s! :)
Speaking of which, the editor's newest column titled "Is Breastfeeding In Trouble?" is wonderful and brings up a lot of the little-known politics of the formula/breastfeeding issue. Here's the link:
http://www.mothering.com/guest_editors/quiet_place/quiet_place.html
Enjoy!

Moms don't get a day off

Seriously, moms don't get days off!! My DH was home sick today and I found some icky tissues laying around and I said, "Babe!! Throw these away! I can't get sick, I don't GET days off!" If I'm sick...oh, well!! Can't belly ache, can't stay in bed all day, can't just NOT fulfill my Mommy and Wifely Duties!! Puh-leez. I'd still have to play "Where' the train??" and be shocked when we discover it under the bed...I'd still have to change diapers...I'd still be making pb&js, going to the park, clapping when DS goes down the slide, making dinner, loading the dishwasher...no getting around it!
I have to say, I am blessed with a strong immune system cuz I rarely get sick. I attribute that to good genes and the fact that I sweat more than the average person. It's like extra detoxifying. And Andrew, praise the Lord, has NEVER been to the doctor for being sick. Two VERY minor colds and two VERY minor stomach bugs and that's it.
Then even when I do catch something, be it a cold or stomach bug, it doesn't last more than two days. Last time, Andrew and I just slept more. Course, he'd caught a version of it, too. But no big deal. But now, he's a bundle of energy and we have no TV to play babysitter, so there's no way I could get away with that, so...extra vitamin C tonight!

Monday: About FlyLady

If you haven't heard of the FlyLady, YOU WILL. The same week I was told about her, another blogging friend mentioned that SHE had just found her, too. It's a movement, ladies. It's gonna be HUGE.
It's also related to my blog title because FLY stands for "Finally Loving Yourself." Don't we all struggle with that?? Accepting myself, loving myself, feeling worthy of the best things in life...it has been a really big part of my journey in finding my authentic self in these recent years. I think that just like how men have their identity wrapped up in their careers or jobs, we women identify ourselves in our homemaking. It's a big deal!!
I have certainly had my days--and weeks--where I was living in what FlyLady calls "CHAOS:" Can't Have Anyone Over House Syndrome. You're embarrassed when friends drop by or a neighbor rings the bell because there's a pile of dishes in the sink, toys strewn all over the floor, a layer of dust on all the furniture, etc. FlyLady offers tons of tips and techniques to restore order and beauty to your home and it has made an amazing difference in our home and our family.
I'm considered a "perfectionist" in FlyLady terms, because I don't start projects because I'm too overwhelmed and can't figure out WHERE to start. So I do nothing! Which is why FlyLady works for me--it's a system, a to-do list, a step-by-step approach. A place to begin. And when you're done with the task, you feel that sense of accomplishment...and you want to do more!
When you subscribe, you do get inundated with e-mails (they warn you about this) but they tell you to take Baby Steps so that you don't get overwhelmed. So I followed their 31-day program (called Beginner Babysteps on the home page menu), with the promise of $100 when I completed it from my DH, and am LOVING the results. I've got my morning and nightly routines down pat, which is a lot of what the first 31 days is all about--establishing new habits. The cool thing is, you have one task each day (which build on each other) for the 31 days but then you have the option of doing other projects and "assignments." I found that once I got a handle on things, I had "free time" to do FUN project--like rearrange the tops of my kitchen cabinets, as shown in the picture. Day 1 is "shine the kitchen sink." That alone had my husband hooked. It's awesome.
ANYway, it's all at www.flylady.net. If you're interested, check out the site!! Sign up!! Jump in!! And let me know how it goes.
This is one of the things that has changed my life and I hope it does the same for you.

Sunday: from a "burden and a chore" to a "blessing and a joy!"

Yes, I love Sundays. Well, I do NOW. In my growing-up years, it meant an entire day of church. Services from 8-12 or longer, lunch at the local BBQ joint, maybe a nap or a visit with friends, then back to church from 5-8. Then more socializing afterward! Phew!
But, for the past year-ish, our church has been without a pastor--or pastoral staff, for that matter--and it's been super-stressful for my DH and me. We both serve at our church and, man. It's been a very trying and draining season. It got to the point where church was more of a burden and a chore than a blessing and a joy!
But now we have a brand new pastor and things are SO much better, even just after his first week! I missed the last two weeks due to out-of-town "church-y opportunities" (thank you, Nacho Libre) and served in the nursery today BUT, just the feel of the place is different. And he even came around this morning to the nursery, greeted my son by name and told those of us serving "Thanks for your hard work." How nice!! Numbers are up, there's this spirit of hope and happiness, people are smiling and cheerful again--it's awesome! My hubby got to hear the sermon and said it gave him something to think about and apply to his life, which hasn't happened for him in a long time.
So, yes, church is much better now. We now look forward to going and enjoy our time there. The rest of the day felt more relaxed and restful than a Sunday has felt in quite a while. Thank you, Pastor! Thank you, Lord!
P.S. Oh, the picture. I took a few shots after church (since I looked decent and all) to update my profile. This was an "out-take" when my son had to get in on the action. He loves to ham it up for the "cheese." Aint' he cute?? :)
P.P.S. I apologize for the cleavage...the blouse made me hot.

Saturday Coffee Talk

This is the first installment for Saturday Coffee Talk. Don'tcha just love a lazy Saturday morning spent talking over coffee with nothing in particular to do? They are few and far between around here but today was one of those days. Aaaaaaahhh.
For my first installment, I'd like to introduce you to my Morning Room. It's what my DH refers to "that useless front room" that came with the house. It could certainly be one of those look-but-don't-touch sitting rooms of years gone by, but I LOVE that room! It houses my favorite green chair, a black writing desk that dictated the rest of the room, my curio cabinet full of my favorite collectibles, many of the tea cups from my collection and lots more. Most of it is pictured. It's my mom's favorite spot when she comes to visit. And the sun rises in the window so it gets a beautiful morning glow, thus the name "Morning Room." It's my favorite place to do my devotions and pray.
So when I write this each Saturday, you can picture me there. And, yes, you can imagine me smiling contentedly.

Secrets

I have two secrets regarding my two previous posts.
I can practically FEEL the collective gasp of stunned surprise, but...
#1, I don't like grits. Not even doctored with butter and cheese. Never have. It's a texture thing. SO un-Southern of me. Don't tell anyone, but I don't like watermelon, either.
#2, I can't drink sweet iced tea anymore. We go back to Florida and order a glass in a restaurant and, "Bleck!" Too sweet. We're quite accustomed to the non-sweetened variety served in Arizona restaurants. We've even been known to say, "Without the sugar, you can appreciate the flavor of the tea."
And I call myself a GRITS.
I do LOVE fried okra, though!! Does that make up for it???

Southern Sweet Iced Tea, Honey

Straight from the http://grits.com/tea.htm web site!
Ingredients:
3 family size tea bags
2 cups of cold water
1 cup of sugar
Yes, that's the correct ratio!!!
Directions:
"We in the south make the best iced tea you'll find. Maybe it's how it's done, or maybe it is the water in the south, or maybe it's just that a southern belle has put a lot of TLC into making the tea. Who knows!
We recommend Luzianne Tea Bags if available.
Place the two cups water in a pot and add the tea bags. Bring to a boil, do not continue boiling. Remove from heat and let steep. Pour warm tea into empty pitcher. Add the sugar and stir until the sugar is dissolved. Fill remaining pitcher with cold water.
Optional - some women say they use less water and add ice to the tea."

Grits (the kind you eat)

"No one can eat just one!" is the grits motto of http://grits.com/
Here's their exaplanation of their site, which pretty much sums it up, and give you a peak into the Southern state of mind:
"This Website is devoted to the celebration of Southern Cooking. If you're a true Southern cook you already have a container of bacon grease on your stove. Git it ready - you'll need it to get started along with sweet ice tea, several iron skillets, lots o' gravy ('specially Red Eye) and hot Crisco for frying. You should also know how to cook grits! Grits, similar to polenta, is served up with cheese, onion, and garlic. Grits are great with shrimp, sausage, or just plain with butter. In Tennessee and at Waffle House, grits are "king". "
If you want the full explanation of what grits are and how they're made, check out http://grits.com/discript.htm
To go with your grits, you'll want some authentic southern ice tea. That'll be my next post.
Maybe my next poll will be whether you keep that container of bacon grease on your stove...

YES, I really lived in Graceville!

I spent the best four years of my childhood in Graceville, Florida, while my dad attended seminary at what was then the Baptist Bible Institute. Now it's called Baptist College of Florida. Here's their site:
https://www.baptistcollege.edu/
We lived on a farm--complete with hogs, horses and plenty of stray dogs--in a dinky green farmhouse with a tin roof and a huge oak tree out front. A picture of the house appears under my profile.
You'll think I'm kidding but I honestly didn't really get the double meaning until the day I started this blog--of how I now, to this day, live in God's grace every day of my life. AND, I'm always (always) in the process of redefining myself based on my ever-broadening view of God and how He sees ME. My "bad days?" They're the days when I try to do everything myself and I'm not focused on living by God's grace. My goal? To "find myself in Graceville" every day of my life. I hope to see you there.

What the heck is GRITS?

It occurs to me that there may be someone who reads this who really doesn't know what grits are!! I'll dedicate the next post to you!! :)
GRITS actually stands for Girl(s) Raised In The South. That's me! I spent my first twenty years in the Sunshine State of Florida. So, yes, I'm a Southern girl at heart and proud of it! You'll probably hear a little Southern twang here and there or catch a few Southern-isms. I tend to do more of that when I'm worked up about something. Consider yourself warned.
My parents and I moved to Arizona in 1998 and when we hear Southern accents on TV, we ask each other, "Did we sound like that??" YES!! We did!! My dad has retained the accent the most, me, the least. For the first two years or so in Arizona, people often asked, "Where are you from?" I never get that question anymore, at least not solely based on my pattern of speech.
So...there you have it. There's an official web site, too, and YES, I own a green T-shirt with their logo on it! Maybe I'll take a picture of me wearing it for ya! :) http://www.gritsinc.com/.
For more information on Florida, visit http://www.visitflorida.com/.